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Reading through my blog stats, I found that the majority of visitors aren’t coming to hear about which Belgian beer I fancy or where I want to get my next pizza. Rather, they’re coming from a google search for my son has a large penis, which brings unsuspecting surfers to one of my all time favourite Flemish television sketches: This is my son, and he has a very large penis!.

For reference, the dutch word for penis is penis, or Lid (literal translation ‘member’), as it is referred to in the sketch.

So whilst I’m on a burger-roll, the word burger in Dutch actually means citizen.

The more you know.

PS WHERE WILL THIS BLOG GO NEXT

In between sojourns around Europe programming who knows what for who knows why, I sit in a class of folk from Turkey learning Dutch.

One of the best things about this fantasically rare language, is just how many words are ‘borrowed’ from the languages geographically positioned around the Dutch-speaking countries (Belgium/Netherlands) – in particular English, which just so happens to be a language I tend to use a lot.

This weeks word is a particular blessing. Every dinner jacket, suit top, or just plan fancy looking vest, is referred to by Belgian Grandmothers as ‘Smoking’. “What a nice Smoking you have, dear”, one such Flemish grandmother might pose. “Are you going to wear your Smoking?”, they’ll say. Of course! Smoking all day long.

Smoking.