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Tonight may have been the first time I’ve made it all the way through the news until I reached the sports report. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a sign my integration isn’t going as quickly as it should be. In any case, tonight I discovered Catherine Van Eylen, Flanders’ favourite sports reporter.

I’ve never really been able to decide whether she is as cute as a cucumber, creepy, or both. As I was going to make the post to ask you all the question, I checked my daily feeds and found Huug had only yesterday posted about Catherine’s ability to reignite his fire for Star Wars by dressing in second charity curtains.

Instead of posting my 30 second video of Catherine introducing the Flemish cyclists of the week, try your hand at translating this article by Huug!

So! Hot or not? Regardless of Huug’s insistence of star wars curtain mash up, I’m still very happy for her to read me the bicycle news of the day.

I vote “hot”, but Maybe not quite enough to get through another sports report…

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This evening I sat glued to the television hoping the best for my favourite Belgian singer Senne Guns (Yes! Guns!) to come home with the ‘Flemish song of the year’ at this years music industry awards (MIA), however was disappointed to find that the only winners were stage favourite Bart Peeters and “West Flanders’ own” Gotye.

I did however enjoy Gotye aka Wally De Baker try his hand at Flemish, nice to hear someone else sporting a bit of Aussie in their Vlaamse vocals!

Despite the awards, for some seriously good Flemish disposable pop, do yourself a favour and check out Senne Guns.

Senne is a true hero of mine and is one of the very, very few Flemish singers singing in his own language. So many local bands fall victim to the English-language bait, mumbling their way through ridiculous verse after chorus – however Senne stands up to all this as a voice not only for his generation, but also his country.

For you English speakers listening to Senne not only introduces a whole new type of cute pop but also a whole new language at the same time. What a guy!

Gotye, I’m aware the world loves you now – but take care, Senne is coming!

In many ways The Belgians look to Dutch in the same way New Zealanders looks to Australians or Canadians looks to Americans – pessimistic annoyance, with a tinge (very, very slight tinge) of jealousy. The Dutchies have bigger toys, louder voices and during football season, much brighter uniforms. Belgians sigh – The Dutch just seem to have it all.

And yesterday they had even more – the whole centre of Gent was awash with orange, as Belgium came to realization that if they don’t support Netherlands, they’ve got the choice of Spain or Germany, two nations still scourned upon for their recent (in modern terms) invasions.

I saw orange pointer hands, orange hair, orange underpants on the outside of orange pants, orange tinted beer, orange oranges, though in true form I left my orange camera at home so you’ve got nothing but a bunch of internet highlights of the magnificent game between the Netherlands and Uruguay that occupied much of my fair town.

However all of this ‘jealous pessismism’ might be absolute crap, as I have read that the Dutch porn star ‘Bobbi Eden’ promises to give all of her Twitter followers gobbys if the Netherlands win the final this Sunday:

She tweeted: “If Netherlands wins the #worldcup I will give a BJ to all my followers, together with @vickvette @misshybrid @gabbyquiteros 4952 and counting

Oh The Netherlands, the things you do to make my dear Belgium blush!

If you know of any women ‘deep enough’ for this poor woman’s son, please contact your nearest Flemish embassy.

Belgium is counting on you!

“This is my son luke
He has a problem with relationships with women
Because his penis is too big.
The doctor said so! And I saw it, it is big.
And now we are searching this way for a woman who is.. too deep..
Son: “or deep enough?”
Yes, or deep enough. Yes. To then.. you know. Yes.
Thank you.”

10's Neighbours ain't nothin on 80s Neighbours

Belgian station 2BE airs Neighbours every evening at 5:30pm, however I don't think I've recognised a single gosh darn character yet. Where the hell is Clive? And the Ramsays? Madge? Are you even listening??

Belgium has always been known to pump out the hits, though this time Ghent’s finest sing (?) for a good (?) cause!

“The little red hand-towel.. it’s for the shit, eh!”

I could watch this guy all day. Kabouter Wesley is easily the best way to learn Dutch.

When Belgian television isn’t occupied with amazingly good soaps, these two ladies read us the best of the daily gossip mags. This clip was taken from één’s ‘Man Bijt Hond’ (Man bites dog) nightly program of Flemish folk doing what Flemish folk do.

This evening an elderly couple are sitting in their lounge room discussing their collection of erotic pottery and breast-shaped tea cups.

Oh Belgium.

Gent: I heart pigs

There’s something about the Belgian news that makes every gosh darn second hilarious. Even if you don’t understand a word of what is being spoken – how can one not wish to tune in with images like this broadcast each night?