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Hello internet, I just updated with a new post about my forthcoming mess of a career as a swimming coach. Have a read why don’t you and help me fight school slag one slag at a time! 

Australian readers: ‘slag’ is one of the best words you can possibly hope to learn in Dutch. School slag translates roughly to ‘school stroke’ (which is dutchie for breaststroke) and more importantly – *Slagroom* – means whipped cream. Get that freakin tattooed somewhere, you will not regret it.



Just days after posting my video about Australia’s response to Big Nuts, out comes a limited edition “Dark Chocolate” version.

Same ol’ Big Nuts, now just a little bit darker.

I swear these Belgians are marketing these things directly to me. And why not? I’ll probably end up buying my fair share of these things in my (attempts to lift the euro out debt.

For man and country, I choose Big Nuts.

Just in case you have had the good fortune never to have heard of Quick burgers, here are some photos I stupidly took of their advertisements around town.

I seriously wonder which niche market of fast food lovers is attracted to a burger that comes in both spicy and not very spicy within the same mouth bite.

st niklaaskerk, originally uploaded by durexxx2006.

Whilst Gent is covered in snow, I managed to sneak out on a Eurostar for a relatively snow-free London Christmas.

Look at that white city above, eh? what a place. Heading back on Tuesday (provided Eurostar is capable of getting through the whiteness for a return journey), in time for some snowy new years times.

I'll be fair, I only picked this image because I like the idea of 'Ballism' and a 19th century woman with a gun.

My dear Fleming is currently reading Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence. She assures me that it’s a very famous book, and that my mother and sister will have most certainly read it, and that my father will equally as certainly not.

During my evening of emailing whos-its and reading blogs about whats-its, my dear lady has been on the couch beside me chuckling her way through Lawrence’s crafy 19th century sexual references. During one of her non-chuckling moments, she turned to ask me what ‘Bolshevism‘ meant, knowing full well that it was a very simple word and that of course I knew it, and that even she knew it, however it was unfortunately stuck on the tip of one of her many linguistic tongues. I, as a good proper Australian, have never heard of a word containing more than two syllabols, so insisted it was a typo and should read ‘Ballism’, which means one who is judgmental to all things balls.

I do not wish to ask Google for help , as I fear they will side with Annelies against my rallying cry for Ballism.

In any case, her favourite line is currently line 27, page 41:

Me? Oh. Intellectually I believe in having a good heart, a chirpy penis, a lively intelligence, and the courage to say ‘ shit!’  in front of a lady.

Ahhh 19th Century, the things we can learn from you still!

Fried Mozzarella Balls!


This morning Last.Fm sent me a gig recommendation to go to the other side of Belgium to visit Marbehan, as everyone’s favourite band with absolutely zero limits, 2 Unlimited are for some reason (presumably unlimited) playing.

Unfortunately the drive takes me into the French part of Belgium, of which I am still terrified of.

deux illimité? No.

Things You May Not Have Known About The Geneva Airport Unless Your Flight Was Delayed By A Strike In Brussels #1078:

Before any intercom anncouncement, the first five notes of ” How much is that doggy in the window?”  are played.

It seems I am not the first person to notice this.

Yes, my plane has been delayed long enough to justify this post. My humble appologies, Internet.

In Belgian terms, Vosselaer is on the other side of the world to Gent, being exactly 101 km from the steps of my appartment. So it comes as no surprise that the beer of Vosselaar has never in the past made it to my refrigerator. Why drive 101 km when your local options are just so damn good?

Fortunately via the miracle of modern-logistics, the local beer-shop delivered me two of Vosselaer’s finest beers from the brewery ‘De Lelie‘, Dutch for ‘The Lily’, however tonight I only want to waste your time on one – the damnnnnn fine dark brew ‘Pater‘ (Dutch for Father)

This daddy of beers is amazingly dark (at least in the light I am writing in – which is to say ‘candle lit’), or amber if you believe the packaging. The taste is subtle, a little caramelly, a light hoppy after-taste, and an over-all glow-enducing sweetness that is neither sweet enough to rot teeth or encourage any silly post-pouring sugar lumps.

Pater has an alcohol content of 6%, quite a low value for the beers it shares fridge-space with, however this makes the perfect after-heavy beer when a simple pintje (lager) just won’t do.

Apparently I was supposed to let this beer settle for a few months to encourage further maturation in the bottle, however it’s Saturday night and who has time for that sort of nonsense. Not me, that’s who.

A few nights ago I started off with the De Lelie’s primary beer, “Paus‘ (Dutch for ‘Pope’), however this was not an entirely memorable experience. The beer was a little too malty for my liking, and didn’t really register on my palate. At least not enough for a review, to say the least. I remember drinking the entire glass, I suppose. So it can’t have been that bad.

Pater = 8/10.
Paus = Drunken, but nowhere near as good as Pater. I’ll give it a token 6.5 -> 7/10.